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Beth's latest book (Kindle format) is 52 Ways to Be More Organized. Usually 99 cents, from time to time it is offered free. Today is one of those days!

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

We wish you a very merry, and reasonably organized, Christmas and launch to your New Year! We are taking a blog sabbatical until January where we will start back up with encouragement for your organizing journey generally two times per week. Until then, relax and enjoy yourself!

Karina, Beth, Stephanie

Goal Setting Part 10: The "How Will I Know?" of Goal Setting

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Last time, I reviewed the “what if” of goal setting as it relates to possible obstacles that can arise and the solutions you create to deal with them on your way to achieving your goals.  This week, I’m going to focus on the “how will I know” piece of goal setting.

So far, you’ve drilled down to some concrete specifics on your goal. Now, however, we need to talk about how you will know if you’ve actually been successful in your attempts towards a goal.  This may seem obvious, but again, you really need to be careful here.

The “how will I know” aspect of goal setting speaks to the specific measurements that go with a particular goal.  If I set a goal that says, “I want to lose weight,” I have not been given myself a specific or precise measurement that will let me know if I’ve achieved the goal.  Does my goal to lose weight mean that I will be successful if I lose ¼ of a pound?  Does it mean that I have been successful by losing 3 pounds? 

When you set a goal for yourself, place a specific measurement with it that clearly indicates successful and acceptable accomplishment.  In the example of losing weight, you would say, “I want to lose 12 pounds over the next 12 months at the rate of one pound per month.” Each month, if you have not lost the expected pound, then you have not met your objective for that month.  If you reach the loss of a pound, you have successfully met your objective for that month.  If you lose two pounds, you are ahead of schedule towards your ultimate goal of 12 pounds. When you do not list a measurable way to track your success, you set yourself up for the very ambiguity that keeps most people from reaching their goals.  Measurement is a guide or tool that we use to gauge where we are from the finish line.  Do we need to make an adjustment to speed things up or slow things down?  Are we ahead of schedule, behind schedule, or completely off track and going the wrong direction?

In many business environments, rewards are awarded to employees who meet their expected goals.  If measurement is established when the goal is originally set, then the there is no room for inference on the part of the employee or the organization.  Either the employee met the goal, or he did not.  If he hit the measurement specified, he reached the goal. If he didn’t hit the measurement, he did not reach the goal.  In that case, it’s not about the emotion of the pursuit. It’s about the end result. Either we achieved the desired result, or we did not. 

Simply put – if you don’t know where you’re going – how will you know if you got there?

-Stephanie Baker

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Getting Organized Benefits from Awareness of Potential Obstacles

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Now therefore, thus says the Lord of hosts: "Consider your ways!" Haggai 1:5 NKJV

Consider your ways.

Have you done that lately?

How many of us really take time to stop and consider how and why we do certain things? We fall into habits and don't necessarily know why we keep doing it.

It's like the story Dave Ramsey tells of a family cutting the ends off a ham before they bake it. They finally asked an older relative and she said, "I'm not sure why you do it, but  I did it so it would fit in my pan." The family had passed on a tradition because it was "always done that way" without giving thought to why.

What is going on in your life that would evidence the same thing? Do you continue to resent something that happened in the past that you cannot change? Do you continue to fear what might be coming in the future? Are you nervous about getting more organized at home because you don't think it will really stay that way?

It's important to prayerfully consider why we get hung up on certain things. We should, from time to time, examine our hearts and ask, for example, why it is so important that our home look a certain way. We all have stumbling blocks that can trip us up. We may be trying to impress someone, or make up for some failure in the past. We may be trying to earn God's approval. We may be trying to protect our emotions by hanging on to lots of things from the past, fearful we may otherwise forget those who have passed on.

Take some time this week to ask God if there are emotional hurdles that are keeping you from becoming all He wants you to be. Ask Him for help in your home...to overcome obstacles that keep you from creating an inviting, God-honoring, peaceful home. He is willing to help you...just let Him!

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Goal Setting Part 9: The "What If?" of Goal Setting

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Last time, I spent time talking about the “which” of goal setting as it related to identifying which obstacles might keep you from attaining the goal you have set.  This is all part of looking at the entire process of working towards our goals.  Once you’ve identified what obstacles you might face, then you want to create possible solutions to fall back on, should those obstacles arise.

In project management, this would be similar to risk planning. How much time you spend here depends on the probability that the obstacle will arise, as well as the impact it will have if it does arise.  If there’s a high probability that you’ll run into the obstacle you’ve identified, then you will want to give greater consideration to planning a solution for it.  Let’s say that you want to take a web design class.  You’ve never studied anything like this subject before, and you’re concerned that there will be material that you just don’t understand.  If that’s the case, then you might begin to consider your options.  You want to spend time now, not just thinking about the solution, but putting the pieces of it together. That way, when you’re in the middle of the journey, you don’t have to stop and try to figure it things out in the heat of the battle or worse, under the stress of last minute damage control. 

In this case, before you sign up for the class, you could do a number of different things.  First, you could try to convince your friend who designs websites for a living to commit to helping you with coursework when and if you get stuck. Second, you could ask the school for a list of appropriate tutors who work with students studying that curriculum. Then, you could call a couple of them ahead of time to find out availability, fees, and any other pertinent information.  Third, you could ask your instructor to recommend a few helpful books or reference materials that you could read prior to the beginning of your class to help you prepare.  Fourth, you could get with someone else who’s already taken the class and ask that person his opinion on the level of difficulty of the material.  That person could possibly work with you on the material that you might struggle with, or he might know someone else that could help you out if you get stuck.  In this situation, another solution would to take some type of preliminary or prerequisite course before attending the actual web design course you listed as your goal.

When you start to examine possible solutions to an obstacle you think you’ll face, you’re on the way to setting yourself up for success, not failure.  You will be more confident because you already have solutions in play. You will feel more “in control” of your situation because you’ve thought through it on a deeper level.  When you feel like you’re in control, you naturally feel more confident.  Think about this proactive process… it’s just like making sure you have the car gassed up and the oil changed before you begin a long road trip.  The point is to buy your AAA membership before you even put the key in the ignition! - Stephanie Baker

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Quiet Time Bins

Today we welcome guest blogger, April Emery, of Holistic Homemaking, to our blog! This is a great idea for quiet, resting times for your kids. Hey, maybe adults should create some bins for themselves too! Thanks April for sharing!

You could make up a few of these for last minute Christmas gifts!

Behold, my secret weapon for successful quiet or resting times in my house ... Quiet Time Bins! Quiet Time Bins are packed with items/activities that a young child can use to entertain him/herself during times of quiet or rest. These bad boys have been my secret weapon as my children have transitioned out of naps. This helps still give me a break, but keep my children occupied if they aren't in the napping mood on a given day.

Read on to find out how to create Quiet Time Bins for your child, a list of ideas to fill your bins, and some helpful tips on using your bins.

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Creating Quiet Times Bins

1 - Purchase 5 plastic bins for each child - 1 for each day of the week (in my case I had 5 for my 4-year old and 5 for my 2-year old). You can also use shoe boxes that you have around the house.

2 - Label bins with child's name name and a day of the week (I printed out labels and then attached them on the inside of the bin using packing tape).

3 - Fill each bin with items age-appropriate for your child. My goal for each day was to include at least one book (board books for my 2-year old), one item to promote problems solving or creative play, and one manipulative items to foster fine motor skills.

4 - On the appropriate day I give my child that day's bin to use during her resting time. When rest time is over the bin is put away. Having a different box each day prevents boredom with the toys inside.

Here are samples of what my girls' bins look like:

(2-year old bin - magnetic "paper" doll, small board book, Etch-A-Sketch)

(4-year old - puzzles, small book, blocks, Play-Doh, Etch-A-Sketch)

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Visit Holistic Homemaking for a list of great Quiet Times Bin content ideas {with some helpful links, too}. You can also use a variation of Quiet Time Bins on road trips with children {some ideas for Travel Busy Bags can be found here.

Helpful Tips & Pointers

• Make sure the toys/books in these bins are not ones they will play with every day. Try to make the items in your bins a special treat. This allows the bins to hold their interest for longer periods of time.
• Follow age guidelines for toys to prevent young children from choking.
• Refrain from adding items that are going to make noise. I try to steer clear of anything electronic. The goal of these bins is to help your child play quietly and rest their body and mind.
• Look at the items you already have in your house to get your bins started. You don't have to go buy new things. Over time, as you spot a great deal, you can purchase extra items for your bins to replace or include in an existing day's bin.
• Give your child items for their quiet times bins in their Christmas stocking or as Birthday presents.
• Don't force your child to use a bin if they aren't wanting to. My kids understand that their rest time each day is for laying in their bed and resting or for playing with the items in their bins. My 2-year old actually starts out playing with hers and, on some days, puts herself in bed for a short nap!
• Don't overload your bin. You want to provide enough items to have options, but so many that it becomes overwhelming. I typically have around 4 different types of toys/activities in my bins (see photos above).
• Try to use a bin that is easy for your child to open and close him/herself. The bins I purchased are excellent. I did see some cheaper bins in the store, but the lids were difficult for a young child to open on his/her own.
• If your children are older and do not nap, try this alternative: instead of labelling the bins by day just fill them and store them in a place your child can reach them. When your child gets bored or needs some entertainment he/she can go and select a bin of his/her choice. My oldest child loves taking one of these up to her room to play by herself.

Do you have use Quiet Times Bins in your home? If so, what do you put in your bins?

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Getting Organized Prompts Flexibility

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And as He walked by the Sea of Galilee, He saw Simon and Andrew his brother casting ga net into the sea; for they were fisherman. Then Jesus said to them, "Follow Me, and I will make you become fishers of men." They immediately left their nets and followed Him.  Mark 1:16-18 NKJV

Picture yourself in the middle of a typical daily project. Maybe you are attacking "Mount Washmore." Or maybe you are entering number 356 of information forms into a database. You might be organizing a field trip for your child's class or preparing someone's taxes.

Jesus suddenly shows up and says, "Follow Me."

What would you say?

"Ah, Jesus, I have this tax form to finish."

"Let me just finish folding this underwear."

"I've got one more call to make."

"Leave this data entry? Yeah baby!"

Whatever your reaction, it would require flexibility.

The fishermen were in the midst of their daily work, which was probably grueling. Then this man tells them essentially that He has a better option. What did they do? They immediately dropped everything to find out more.

Now, I'm not suggesting that you drop everything on every whim. God delights in self-control and discipline too. However, this was the Son of God telling them to forget about today's task and come discover something more important.

I wonder how many of us would really drop everything to take advantage of such an opportunity? I can't say that I always would. I remember one time we had some visitors from out of town and due to various things, our home was not company-ready. While we spent time with them elsewhere, we were not able to be as flexible as we possibly could have been, because of being bogged down by other needs and responsibilities. A few weeks later though, we were able to host an overnight guest for several days. Some things had changed and we were able to get our home in better order.

Getting, and being, even a bit more organized, can help us say "yes" more often to those sudden, sometimes delightful, opportunities to go or do something out of the ordinary. Then we aren't a slave to the house or feel like we'd be so behind when we got back that it would steal the joy from the impetuous visit or ministry opportunity.

You owe it to yourself, if no one else, to live in a bit more organized fashion so that you can immediately follow Christ's invitation to enjoy an opportunity you may not have planned on.

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Goal Setting Part 8: The Which of Goal Setting

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Last time I talked about planning to acquire resources you need to complete your goal.  Equally important is discussing which obstacles that you may run into along the way to successful achievement of said goal.

When you try anything new, the biggest obstacle to your own achievement is ….well…uhm…er…YOU.  Let’s start there.  You are the person trying to integrate a new behavior change into your routine.  Your own brain, however, is wired against your attempts to change anything.  When we do something repeatedly, it becomes a habit (like eating whatever you want whenever you want and not caring about the choice involved). Over time, your brain develops a “memory” of that behavior habit and when you try to change it or alter it in any way, your brain fights that.  You may be successful a time or two, but then the old habit starts winning over the new one and you’re right back where you started. 

To break an old habit, you need to repeat the new pattern many times over.  Eventually, the old “memory” that’s associated with that old behavior habit will be overwritten by the new memory that you’ve now associated with the new behavior habit.  It’s a lot more scientific than I’m getting here, but for purposes of this blog – let’s try to keep it simple.  I think it’s important that  I address the fact that this is going on in any attempt to change an existing behavior to something new.  When you address that it’s just “not in your makeup,” you’re not giving yourself an excuse to fail, but rather you’re giving yourself greater power to succeed in spite of that challenge.  As a side note here, exercise actually helps you in this entire process – whatever the new behavior habit is that you’re trying to implement, exercising helps your brain in building the new “memory” that’s associated with it through something called neurogenesis.

There are other obstacles that you may run into along the way to reaching this new goal. It’s important that you look at your past performance to determine if there is anything there to give you a clue to what you may face again that could derail you. What has happened in the past that’s kept you from being successful in reaching goals?  How did you handle it?  Were you effective in dealing with that particular obstacle(s)?  What didn’t work in your effort to overcome it?  How might you approach this obstacle(s) differently this time with a more successful outcome?

It’s always helpful to run the idea of potential obstacles past other people who know you and support your efforts to reach your goals. You might be surprised to hear what others see in and around you that you may have missed.  Once you’ve identified the things that can (and have) pull you off course, work out strategies to deal with them should they happen.  Everyone is better with a plan.  It’s typically the unexpected thing that arises – the thing we didn’t think about and have no plan on how to deal with – that keeps us from staying on the forward track to achieve our goals.  To be forewarned is to be forearmed.  Essentially, this is the process of “risk planning/management,” for the goal seeker.

-Stephanie Baker


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Getting Organized Requires Maintenance

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Proverbs 25:28 Whoever has no rule over his own spirit is like a city broken down, without walls. NKJV

In Old Testament times, perhaps more than our modern day, cities were often known to have walls. The entire book of Nehemiah is devoted toward the rebuilding of the wall in Jerusalem. Why were walls so important?

Walls gave protection. Walls provide definition and boundaries. Walls serve as reminders of the need for discipline and self-control. These days, we may use fences instead, defining property lines, keeping pets in our own yard, giving children an area of relative safety to play.

When it comes to home organization, our systems provide some of this needed self-discipline and as well as healthy boundaries (i.e. we only eat in certain areas of the house or paint in certain rooms, etc.) But the systems themselves won't work for long if we don't maintain, or practice, them regularly.

For example, you may have created a system for managing shoes and coats in your foyer. But if you and your family still carry them into the living room and dump them on the couch, your system won't be of any help. You have to discipline yourself, and help others be disciplined, to maintain the systems you have set up.

There will be times, also, that you will need to do maintenance on parts of your home. It is natural for homes to age and need repair (just like cars, and us!) By applying regular maintenance, you can keep your home in better shape for many years.

Spiritually, we can use and maintain systems that help us consistently grow. These are often referred to as "spiritual disciplines." These may be practices such as church attendance, Bible reading/study, small group fellowship, prayer, quiet moments, fasting, etc. Without regular "feeding" one does not grow and strengthen.

It is important to establish and maintain disciplines in life. Be careful, however, not to elevate the system above the reason for it. You are establishing systems in your home to create a peaceful, serving environment, not to become a control freak. You create unique patterns of spiritual discipline to grow in your walk with Christ, not to just check off a list to feel like a good Christian.

Periodically review your systems, whether at home or within your spiritual journey. Tweak and polish to keep the main thing, the main thing.

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Goal Setting Part 7: The "What" of Goal Setting

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Last time, I suggested working backwards from the desired goal as a planning tool. I mentioned that when you work backwards from the finish line in your planning, you are likely to see new information about steps you need to take or differences in the amount of time that you originally thought you needed to complete your goal. In keeping with that thought, while we’re planning the steps for HOW to achieve this goal, we have consider WHAT we need in order to successfully complete it.  The WHAT doesn’t refer only to things.  It can also relate to people or skill sets and what’s necessary to secure those resources. 

For example, let’s say that you have a goal to achieve a formal certification in project management.  You may determine that you need additional information on risk management in order to pass the certification exam.  You might determine that only a class in risk management will provide sufficient knowledge.  In that case, the resource you need is a greater knowledge of risk management.  Now you need to decide how best to receive that additional knowledge.  Will it be a night class over 6 weeks?  Will you do an online course at your own pace?  Do you prefer a traditional classroom with real time interaction between students and professor?  How much will you be able to spend on acquiring this knowledge? Will you need to acquire financial aid if you take a college class?  If you take a traditional class that’s conducted at night, will you need childcare on those evenings?  Who will provide that? How much will that childcare cost?  Are there other options for gaining this desired knowledge?

At first glance, this can seem overwhelming. It may seem that if you pull one string (question) it will unravel the whole ball of yarn.  In essence, you do want it to unravel.  You need to examine this process piece by piece in order to plan accordingly. Too often, people fall victim to their own lack of thorough planning when it comes to their goals.  If you don’t think through WHAT you need before you begin, you most likely will reach a point during your journey where you have to stop and do it at a later time.  For example, it may be that you need another person who’s a resource to help you out.  If you neglect to secure him during the planning, now you may have to wait until he can work you into his schedule to help you with this piece of your journey.  If that happens, you can end up postponing action towards your goal.

If you do have to stop your journey due to poor initial planning, it’s even tougher for you to get going again once the resource has finally been secured.  People tend to lose momentum and become frustrated when they have to do planning like that in the heat of battle.  You need your strategy and your ammunition before you enter the battle field. You need to bring all the artillery you need in order to win with you when you show up for the battle.  The best way to do that is to think through all the things you need for survival before you even begin the journey.

-Stephanie Baker

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Decently and In Order

Let everything be done decently and in order. I Corinthians 14:40 KJV

Why is it important to do things in an orderly way? Paul wanted the Corinthian's church services to be ones of order and decency...something apparently the Corinthians were straying away from. His exhortation applies well to everyday life too. We don't have to be rigid or perfect, but decent, and orderly, helps us be less stressful, allows us to be more reliable, and lets us serve others more easily.

How has being organized help you live a more peaceful life?

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Getting Organized is Aided by Workable Systems

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I Chronicles 28:11 After David finished speaking, he gave Solomon the plans for building the main rooms of the temple, including the porch, the storerooms, the rooms upstairs and downstairs, as well as the most holy place.

When Audrey gets home, she immediately puts the mail on a corner of her desk, removes receipts from her wallet, puts loose change in a collection jar, checks to see if she still has a good supply of tissues, gum, hand sanitizer and other personal items, and hangs her purse on a hook. This system usually takes her less than five minutes, but she has found it extremely helpful during the morning rush to get out the door. And, she is always thankful during the day to have everything she needs well-supplied and orderly.

In the verse above, we see that David laid out specific plans for specific rooms of the temple. He seems to be very organized and intentional about how the rooms would be laid out and used. Notice the verse even points out rooms that may be considered less important (porch, storerooms.)

It's the same way in your home. Each room has a purpose and there are systems that can be created and utilized within that room. Pick a room and think about what its main purpose is. Then, think about the traffic pattern in the room. Brainstorm what you might need and can implement for making that room (or common area) work more efficiently.

God demonstrates order throughout the Bible. In some places, He was very specific. In others it feels like a more general plan to move people through history. All in all though, we see a God who does things with a purpose and with intentionality. Creation exhibits systems and cycles--sometimes elaborate ones--that show they were not just haphazardly thrown together. With His help, you can design systems that reflect Him in your home.

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Goal Setting Part 6: The "How" and "When" of Goal Setting

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Last time I focused on the importance of visualizing the impact that reaching your goal will have on your life.  When you buy into the end result before you even begin your steps towards it, you’re more likely to stay focused along your journey to attain it. That helps when you run into rough patches along the way.   Visualization alone, however, won’t get you where you’re headed.   Just like you might plan a trip, plotting how you’ll get there and accounting for the time the entire trip will take, you must plan how and by when you want to reach your goal.

Planning the “how” in goal setting means that you are looking not only at necessary steps you may need to take, but also the order in which those steps need to be taken. At this point, you are mapping how to get from your current situation to the desired situation of successfully completing your goal. While you’re planning, you may run across a step that is new to you.  Perhaps you’ve never done anything like it in the past. It’s at this point that you may need to add additional steps, listed prior to that one, that detail how you will go about acquiring the necessary information, money, or resource you need, or possibly even a skill set that you don’t yet have.  Whatever it is that you need but don’t have, proper planning will more than likely bring it into focus.  There’s nothing more frustrating than jumping into action head first, only to realize you don’t have all the things you need to finish the endeavor successfully.  Begin with the end in mind during the visualization step, and then work backwards in your planning to map out the “how.” 

Once you’re comfortable with the planning steps you just enumerated, you will have the information that you need to establish the “when” of your goal.  The “when” relates to the date you have successfully reached your goal. When you look over your “how” planning steps, you may realize that your goal can be accomplished in less time than you originally anticipated.  It may be that you originally underestimated how long it would take.  Be realistic when you set your target “due” date for reaching your goal.  No matter what, though, you must set a target date.  When we don’t set a date on our calendar for something we want to achieve, it doesn’t usually become a reality. If it by some miracle does, it’s much later than we would have liked it to happen.  Having a target due date allows us to work towards something.  It keeps us on track.  Without it, there is one less accountability push.  With it, we run the race with our eyes fixed on the finish line!

-Stephanie Baker

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Happy Thanksgiving from the authors of Organizing From the Heart! We hope that you enjoy a stress-free holiday weekend!

L to R: Karina, Beth and Stephanie
Photo credit: Valerie Presley

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Getting Organized Requires Pruning and Purging

We encourage recycling when possible.
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Hebrews 12:1 CEV Such a large crowd of witnesses is all around us! So we must get rid of everything that slows us down, especially the sin that just won't let go. And we must be determined to run the race that is ahead of us.

What slows you down in your home? Is it that pile of coats and shoes that blocks the entry door? What about the junk mail and magazines hanging out at your desk?

Even the most organized person has extra "weight" that bogs them down sometimes. Remember emptying your purse and wondering how you carry all that stuff all the time?

This verse is speaking about getting free from sin, especially repeating sin, so that we can better run the race ahead of us. But it can also apply to the things we hang on to at home, that drain our emotional energy.

There are many reasons we hang on to stuff, partly because we may get a temporary feeling of security when surrounded by our collections. And it's not necessarily wrong to have collections, if they serve a purpose and/or bring you great, ongoing joy. But for many of the items we hang on to at home, that really doesn't apply.

So how can we discard the weight? A little at a time. It can be overwhelming to attack a whole room at once, but could you consider 3-5 items a day, evaluating whether you need to keep them? Start small, like with one drawer in the kitchen. Once you get through that, you may find you have some momentum to tackle some other areas.

And avoid thinking that you will ever be "finished" with organizing your home. Instead, think of it as part of a general routine or habit, similar to cleaning the bathroom or processing mail. Stop organizing once you've reached a particular time limit or stopping point (such as one drawer at a time.) This will keep you from being overwhelmed and you'll see yourself "get up to speed!" in your race!

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Goal Setting Part 5: The Benefits of Achieving Your Goal

Last week, I talked about understanding the “WHY” of a goal. I examined the importance of understanding why you feel a particular goal is important to achieve.  I concluded with the concept that if the goal you’re working towards doesn’t really belong to you (i.e., if it’s being imposed on you by someone else, or you’re doing it to please someone else), then you probably won’t experience sustainability with it even if you do reach it momentarily.  Sustainability is what you’re after when you work towards a goal that brings a desired change.

In order to have sustainability, you need to fully embrace and consider how successfully attaining your goal will affect your life.  It’s important to visualize your life as you imagine it will be once you’ve attained the goal.  When you allow yourself to experience what successfully reaching the goal will feel like, you are giving yourself an upfront taste of the change it brings.  Consider what aspects of your life will be different – better – after you’ve realized this goal.  How will you feel?  What are the emotions that come with this?  What will be different about you – what will others see that is different?  How will your life be improved by realizing this goal?  Will you be healthier?  Will you be wealthier?  Will you be happier?  Will you weigh less?  Will you look different?  Will you be more professionally fulfilled? Sometimes a goal you are working towards will impact other people.  If this is the case for your goal, imagine how those other people will feel as well.  What will be different in your relationship with them?  How will their lives be enriched?

When you allow yourself to develop the image and visualize how your life will be after you successfully reach your goal, then you not only have an image but a feeling to carry with you during your journey to get there. You are beginning – as Stephen Covey says – with the “end” in mind.  You are drawing a picture of the end result to put in your pocket and keep with you on your travels to get there. It serves as a constant reminder to you of what you are working towards and why.

So many times, we allow ourselves to get pulled off the road to achieving a goal.  At the first sign of turbulence on the journey, we forget why we wanted to take the trip in the first place.  This happens because we haven’t really bought into the end result before we ever took the first step towards it.  If we can allow ourselves to concentrate on how victory will feel and what it will mean in our lives and possibly the lives of others, then we are more apt to “stay the course” when the road to it gets bumpy. 

by Stephanie Baker

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Yay! I Had Two Checks!

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Several weeks ago my husband and I went to apply for passports. We got to the post office processing area only 10 minutes before they stopped processing. I filled out the forms like a maniac and they went ahead and did our process. I hadn't realized that we would need to pay separately for each passport (two separate checks or money orders.) Well, because I had done my practice of checking and replenishing my wallet, voila, I had two checks with me. I usually don't need to carry many but like to have two on hand. So smooth as if it was planned, I simply wrote out the checks and saved the additional cost of getting a money order. It made me glad I was falling into a routine of going through my purse several times a week and replenishing items that had gotten low or I'd used up.

And guess what, we got our passports withing ten days without expedited processing. How cool is that?

Life of a Pint-Sized Mama: Are We Flourishing? {A Giveaway}

Life of a Pint-Sized Mama: Are We Flourishing? {A Giveaway}:  I'm at a stage in life that is so FULL. Full of great things, but also so busy. I desire to spend quality time with my husband and son, me...

Goal Setting Part 4: Thinking Through Our Goals

Thinking through our goals

Many of us don’t do what I call a “360” when we goal plan.  Doing a “360” means that you examine the goal from all possible angles.  You think through the entire process of the goal you want to achieve.  In essence, you walk all the way around the goal, examining every aspect of it.

To successfully achieve a goal, it’s important that we understand these things:

WHY (Why do we want change/improvement in this particular area?)

BENEFITS (In what way will my life change when I realize this goal? Is there anyone else who will be affected by my achievement – if so, how?)

HOW and by WHEN (How and by When do we plan to accomplish this change/improvement?)

WHAT (What resources – people, equipment, etc- will we need to accomplish this change/improvement?)

WHICH (Which obstacles might we be faced with while we’re working towards our goal?)

WHAT IF (What will we do IF we are faced with one of the obstacles we defined)

HOW WILL I KNOW (How will I know if I’ve attained my goal?  What are the measurements by which I’ll know it’s been reached?)

RELEVANCE and REWARD (How important to me is this goal and How will I reward myself once I’ve successfully reached it?)

This week, let’s focus on the “WHY” we want to achieve a goal.  When you focus on the “WHY,” you have to find out from where the desire to change or improve is coming.   When it’s a desire that comes from outside sources or is imposed on us, we tend to fail in our attempts to reach the goal (or change the behavior).  If we do succeed initially with the goal or change in behavior, we lack sustainability.  Sometimes we may even resent the very thing we’ve changed. 

Moreover, embracing a goal because it’s what others think should be our goal can actually keep us from focusing on things that would produce positive change/growth in our lives.  In other words, things like losing weight or quitting smoking (or exercising, or eating healthier – etc,…) can be useful and helpful things to do, but unless we each perceive the value in those things as it relates to our individual lives and our personal desires, our results will not be lasting.   

When we examine the “WHY,” we may need to modify the original goal or even discard it entirely.  That’s not all bad.  That’s how we drill down and focus on the goals that are truly important to us – the ones that WILL change our lives for the better and the ones that will have LASTING positive impact.

Let me speak for a moment from experience.  While I was growing up, our home was spotless.  In fact, it looked like it could be in a magazine.  Everything was always in its place and our home was in pristine condition just in case anyone stopped by unannounced to visit.  This meant that my mother, bless her heart, was constantly cleaning, dusting and vacuuming.  I mean every single day those things were done.  At times, I’m sure you could even have eaten off the floor and been fine (no 5 second rule needed). 

Now, let’s fast forward to my adulthood.  While working unbelievable work week hours at the peak of my corporate career, I carried with me the goal that I had to have my own home as spotless as my parent’s home was when I was growing up.  In order to reach that goal, that meant I would have to spend my weekend – Saturday to be exact – cleaning my home.   My home, you see, was really a 1000 square foot apartment with two bedrooms and two bathrooms.  To clean it the way I felt was required to hit my “goal” meant that I would need to spend 4 hours cleaning every Saturday.  Needless to say, I was exhausted when Sunday rolled around.  That didn’t leave much time for “fun” on the weekend, much less time to rest before my grueling work week started over again. 

The other notable factor was that while my home place was indeed clean, I was not progressing forward in building a gratifying social life.  When I met my husband, I realized that I wanted to spend time on the weekend with him instead of with my head stuck in a toilet or tub.  Granted, the clean toilet and tub were rewarding, but not nearly in the same way as having a mutually gratifying relationship with another human being. 

Jokes aside, I had to think about why I willingly embraced a goal that was actually holding me hostage.  I realized, after pondering the WHY for awhile, that the goal belonged to my mother and not me.  That was HER goal, not mine.  I had accidentally packed it when I left home and I needed to return it as soon as possible.  So I did.  What a freeing experience it was to rethink that goal.  Cleanliness was and is important to me, but to make it workable in my world in the form of a personal goal, I needed to realize its relevancy.  How important was that goal to ME? 

Once I decided that, then I could set a new goal with parameters that worked for me.  I redefined what level of “clean” was acceptable for me.  Then I redefined what “filth” meant in my world.  With that done,  I was free to put into forward motion some time management practices that allowed me to work on a far more important goal – spending time with the man that I love and building a lasting relationship.  That goal was more important than the dust on my coffee table that had accumulated during the work week.  After all, I felt like the dust would wait on me. 

Next week: The benefits of achieving your goal.

by Stephanie Baker

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Purse Within a Purse

I've found it helpful to carry a mini purse or fanny pack (such as shown above) to use as my main purse/wallet. I often carry a tote bag with several needed or possibly needed items in it. That's my "fashionable" thing. But for running into a store or for other errands, I just grab the fanny pack so I can attach it to my waist or use the shoulder strap. That way I'm living "light" and still have the main things I might need in a store or restaurant (i.e. cash, cards, very basic toiletry needs, hand sanitizer, phone) without lugging in the larger tote bag. It may not be the most fashionable thing, but it is functional. I'm thinking of ways to add a fashion touch to it...maybe a neat pin or scarf. We'll see.

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Getting Organized Requires Cooperation

1 Peter 3:8 CEV  Finally, all of you should agree and have concern and love for each other. You should also be kind and humble.

It's hard to get organized if the others who live in your home don't want to cooperate. Why don't they have the same vision for organizing as you do? Here are some possible reasons:

They don't have the same energy/personality as you do. Perhaps you are a fast paced person married to a slower paced person. You may attack a project very differently than they would.

They are afraid they won't measure up to your standards. Do you set the bar way to high in your home?

They get nervous if things are too organized. Believe it or not, ultra organization can lead to stress and a feeling of a rigid environment. I remember having a friend in high school who liked to come to our reasonably clean home to relax because at her home, there was a very strict level of cleaning. If you are always quickly cleaning up after people, (i.e. taking their soda glass to the kitchen before they even finish with it) you may create resistance to helping.

It's never good enough. Have their past efforts to help clean or organized been met with an "Oh, just let me do it" attitude from you? Have they been affirmed or criticized for their efforts?

These are just a few reasons why family members or roommates may not cooperate with your efforts to get organized. So, take a look at what Peter tells us above. It's more about how we treat others than having our own way. Are there some changes you can make in how you relate with those you live with?

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Goal Setting Part 3: Lack of Follow Up

Over the last few weeks, this series has been focusing on what works against us when we try to set and achieve goals.  I’ve been discussing some helpful information found in Ken Blanchard’s book, Know Can Do!.  Previously, I’ve discussed the negative effects of information overload and negative filtering.

This week, I’m taking a look at the concept of “lack of follow-up.”  Most people, after being exposed to new information or new material don’t have any kind of follow up plan.  Because of that, many of us revert back to our old routines.  Sound familiar? We need to put our newly learned knowledge or ideas or know-how into action.  We have to have a follow up plan. In goal setting, just as in learning and applying newly learned material, we need structure, support, and accountability.

Lack of Follow Up

Without immediate follow up after learning something new or deciding to implement a new behavior within our daily schedule, we will typically revert back to our old ways and habits.  The quicker we pull the trigger on using this new knowledge or implementing this new behavior, the greater the chance that we’ll be successful in our attempts to create sustainability.  Sometimes, we need help in getting the desired results in our lives.  Here’s where a coaching relationship can help provide you with structure, support, and accountability where goal setting and achievement is concerned. 

Structure:  Working with a coach will help a client focus on a limited number of areas where changes/improvements are desired.  With the assistance of a coach, the client defines a specific goal(s) and then maps out an effective strategy to move from where he/she currently is to where he/she wants to be in relation to that specific goal. 

Support: A coach will encourage a client to think differently about situations, opportunities and perceived obstacles. Additionally, a coach will guide a client in reframing an existing approach to reaching a goal in order to achieve the goal faster and easier. 

Accountability:  If you are committed to the coaching process, a coach can help you stay focused on your goal and why it’s important to you.  The coaching relationship helps you maintain the motivation and commitment you need to achieve your goals. Studies show that when you tell someone else about your goal and have a regularly scheduled time to meet with an “accountability partner,” you have a greatly increased chance of completing the goal successfully.  In fact, The American Society of Training and Development conducted a research project into the probability of completing a goal based on the actions a person takes related to that goal.  Information from that research suggests that the probability of completing a goal jumps to 95% if we have a specific accountability appointment with another person related to the implementation of our action plan to reach our goal.

Getting the Results We Want

For many people it is far more successful to have a professional coach, rather than a friend or family member, help them through the process of goal setting and accountability.  A professional coach is trained to walk a client through a structured type of questioning to help that person understand why the goal has priority his/her life.  Sometimes, when that first piece of the pie is examined, a goal can be restructured or thrown out entirely.  Because a coach has only the success of the client in mind, there are no hidden agendas. As much as we love friends and family, we cannot say the same of them. 

While our friends and family members may outwardly claim to want only the best for us, they may unintentionally hinder us from desired achievement due to their own negative filtering.  There are also other reasons this happens with people close to us.  In his book, Emotions Revealed, author Paul Ekman discusses the concept of emotional triggers being universal and individual.  Individual emotional triggers may be affected by the activity of each person’s own “auto-appraisers.”  He suggests that we have built in “appraising” mechanisms that are continually scanning the world around us in order to detect when something important to our survival or welfare is happening.  The auto appraisers to which he refers are our senses, simply put.  The conflict arises because everyone’s senses may react differently to the same situation. What one person’s auto-appraisers may tell him/her is scary, another’s may acknowledge differently. 

Because a coach doesn’t give “advice” or try to sway a client one way or another in choices, the client makes the decisions about which directions to ultimately take or avoid.  The very nature of coaching acknowledges that the answers are already within the client, but that the coach is needed to ask the right questions.  A great coach will be able to ask unbiased questions that provoke true and open responses from a client.  A close family member or friend might have a much tougher time handling biases from their own emotions, which in turn, would affect the truthfulness and openness of the responses from the same person (client). 

When I look back through my early life, my parents always attempted to provide structure and accountability.  The amount of support I received, however, was in direct correlation to whether the course of my action (whatever that was) met with their personal approval. That approval/disapproval was most likely influenced by their personal auto-appraisers. But whichever of those was offered to me, be assured that it peppered my own experience with one of two things: either additional confidence to move forward, or doubt about my chance for success.  

Later, as an adult, I can list more than one occasion where one parent’s fear regarding my suggested courses of actions could easily have kept me from taking necessary steps towards personal and professional achievement.  Although that parent’s love for me is unquestionable, fear drove the motivation for said parent. Although I understood where the fear originated, I refused to personally embrace it and ultimately allow it to stall my personal/professional growth.  Had I allowed the influence of fear to stop me in that situation, I would not have met my husband.  What a shame that would have been!

The follow up of implementing newly learned material or desired changes in behavior needs to be driven through structure, support, and accountability.  If you are someone who routinely has trouble reaching your goals or someone who feels stuck, realize that what you’ve been doing isn’t working.  First, examine whether the proper structure, support, and accountability exists for you on any level. Secondly, if it does exist, you may need to make changes relating to where you find it.  In other words, who influences your follow through and follow up?

Next Week:  Thinking through our goals

by Stephanie Baker

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Overly Organized?

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Have you ever met someone that was so organized that he/she was actually no fun to be around?

While this blog exists to encourage you in getting more organized, for the right reasons, we acknowledge that sometimes, this goal can be taken too far. Examples:

• a person who is so conscious of the condition of her home that you can't relax there for fear of making any kind of (even reasonable) mess
• children who seem stressed and angry because their chore schedule or home expectations are too strict and don't exhibit any creativity or flexibility
• a person who walks around with obvious arrogance because their home, car, life is more organized than the average person
• a person who cannot relax until their entire to-do list is done
• a person who gets angry when something interrupts the work they have done to organize the house (i.e. someone gets sick, some unexpected task comes up, or some project finished won't be enjoyed because the family has to suddenly go away, etc.)

These types of situations no more honor God than living in total disarray. Take a look at God's creation. It's orderly and systematic while still having areas of total abandon, awesome creativity, seasonal unpredictability, etc.

So be careful not to go too crazy with getting organized! Some of you may need to lighten up!

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Getting Organized Involves Our Emotions and Life Experiences

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Philippians 3:13 My friends, I don't feel I have already arrived. But I forget what is behind, and I struggle for what is ahead.

"That's not how I raised you to keep a house."

“My sister's house always looks far more presentable than mine.”

“Why does Grandpa insist on working in the yard so much? It's like he wants to impress people.”

“Mom and Dad are coming over. We've got to get this place cleaned up!”

“We always had to make our bed before school while I was growing up.”

Do any of these thoughts or words sound familiar to you?

More than we may like to admit, our approach to organizing our home is flavored by our emotions and life experiences. If we grew up in a very clean home, we may want to carry on that expectation, or we choose to rebel against it, embracing “freedom.” If our efforts at organizing were never good enough in the eyes of others, we may throw in the towel. If friends or family members make passing snide comments about how things look or feel in our home, we feel angry, devastated, or plagued with guilt. We prepare for company by exhausting ourselves so we can live up to an image of being organized and "together."

In Philippians, Paul talks about looking forward, not backward. He had a lot that could have tripped him up in life...guilt about his past sins before coming to know Christ, for example. Yet he strived to keep his eyes on the Lord and on moving forward, doing what God wanted him to do rather than live by the expectations of others.

This is not to say that our past experiences can't be a good teacher or guide for our future choices. Hopefully we learned some good things about home and life management from relatives or friends. But each of us is going to have a unique style in our approach to managing the homes and lives God has given us. Some of us are going to be detail oriented while others will fly by the seat of their pants. We will entertain at various levels...some loving to be elaborate while others choose the simple approach.

The key is what is in our hearts. Are we managing our home the way we do to impress others? To avoid the snide comments? Or to create an environment where others can relax? Where we can serve without undue stress?

Take some time to think about how past experiences and emotions play into how you manage your home today. Pray about what you discover and ask God to give you the right heart for organizing according to His unique plan for you and your loved ones.

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Preppy Pink Crocodile: Spa Water Recipes

Preppy Pink Crocodile: Spa Water Recipes

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Goal Setting 2: The Which of Goal Setting, by Stephanie Baker

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The Which of Goal Setting

Last week I talked about planning to acquire resources you need to complete your goal.  Equally important is discussing which obstacles that you may run into along the way to successful achievement of said goal.

When you try anything new, the biggest obstacle to your own achievement is ….well…uhm…er…YOU.  Let’s start there.  You are the person trying to integrate a new behavior change into your routine.  Your own brain, however, is wired against your attempts to change anything.  When we do something repeatedly, it becomes a habit (like eating whatever you want whenever you want and not caring about the choice involved). Over time, your brain develops a “memory” of that behavior habit and when you try to change it or alter it in any way, your brain fights that.  You may be successful a time or two, but then the old habit starts winning over the new one and you’re right back where you started. 

To break an old habit, you need to repeat the new pattern many times over.  Eventually, the old “memory” that’s associated with that old behavior habit will be overwritten by the new memory that you’ve now associated with the new behavior habit.  It’s a lot more scientific than I’m getting here, but for purposes of this blog – let’s try to keep it simple.  I think it’s important that  I address the fact that this is going on in any attempt to change an existing behavior to something new.  When you address that it’s just “not in your makeup,” you’re not giving yourself an excuse to fail, but rather you’re giving yourself greater power to succeed in spite of that challenge.  As a side note here, exercise actually helps you in this entire process – whatever the new behavior habit is that you’re trying to implement, exercising helps your brain in building the new “memory” that’s associated with it through something called neurogenesis.

There are other obstacles that you may run into along the way to reaching this new goal. It’s important that you look at your past performance to determine if there is anything there to give you a clue to what you may face again that could derail you. What has happened in the past that’s kept you from being successful in reaching goals?  How did you handle it?  Were you effective in dealing with that particular obstacle(s)?  What didn’t work in your effort to overcome it?  How might you approach this obstacle(s) differently this time with a more successful outcome?

It’s always helpful to run the idea of potential obstacles past other people who know you and support your efforts to reach your goals. You might be surprised to hear what others see in and around you that you may have missed.  Once you’ve identified the things that can (and have) pull you off course, work out strategies to deal with them should they happen.  Everyone is better with a plan.  It’s typically the unexpected thing that arises – the thing we didn’t think about and have no plan on how to deal with – that keeps us from staying on the forward track to achieve our goals.  To be forewarned is to be forearmed.  Essentially, this is the process of “risk planning/management,” for the goal seeker.

Next Week:  The “What-If” of Goal Setting

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Cell Phone Organization

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Many of us carry a cell or smart phone around, or some type of device like that. Here are some tips to keep it from getting cluttered.

On a regular basis, delete text threads. Depending on how much you text, you can quickly pile up a ton of messages, most of which are not something you have to keep for more than a day or two. Use the "delete all" feature to clean these threads out.

Once a week or so, erase your call log, the list of all the calls that have come in or gone out of your phone. If this scares you, make sure you go through it and save any numbers you don't already have.

Delete emails you are done with. If you use your phone to scan emails, delete the ones you have already acted on. In my case, I used Outlook on my desktop to "pop" other servers to download email. For those settings, I have the server delete the emails. However, for my phone and iPad, I have the setting leave a copy on the server. I mainly use those devices to monitor mail of the day, not act on it. I don't want to take the chance of the email not eventually getting to my Outlook box.

Check any task list or reminder apps on which you might have left yourself a note. I use Bug Me Lite to make quick notes to myself during the week because I can program them to pop up later. The lite version only lets me have 5 notes, which is actually good. I have to delete some to add others, and that is good. By the end of the week, I actually like that app to be empty!

And PLEASE (pet peeve warning!) Delete your voice mail messages once you have listened to them and/or acted on them. It's frustrating to call someone and hear "the mailbox is full." It's very easy to delete messages. Why keep a pile of them on your phone?

Why bother doing all this? Because your mind gets cluttered too, when it sees a bunch of visual reminders of stuff to do. Often there's not a need to make your mind go back over conversations again and again when action has been taken. Visual clutter tires us out...and since you look at your phone a lot, why have a cluttered one?

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Getting Organized Relates to Our Personality and Energy Cycles

Isaiah 58:11 NKJV  The Lord will guide you continually, and satisfy your soul in drought, and strengthen your bones; you shall be like a watered garden, and like a spring of water, whose waters do not fail.

Wow. Read that verse again. And maybe again! I need this reminder and may need work on memorizing this one!

This week in our study through Organizing from the Heart, we are reading and thinking about our personality and energy cycles. I think one of the setbacks we get into is that society (otherwise referred to as the unseen "they") sets a particular standard for how a person should live--how organized they are, what their home looks like, etc. Then many of us may try to match that standard regardless of whether it really fits the energy cycle or  personality God gave us. That leads to exhaustion. Exhaustion robs us from truly enjoying God and others.

So, taking the above verse, how would you apply that to your attempts at organizing?

The Lord will guide you continually.

Think about that. If you set your mind to walk with God throughout the day, He will guide you in the tasks and priorities you need to do. Imagine Him walking with you and ask Him, "What should I do next, Father?"

And satisfy your soul in drought.

God knows we regularly go through dry periods, based on anything from physical to emotional fatigue to relationship problems, work issues, etc. He is our first Source of watering.

And strengthen your bones.

God is the first resource to God to when you are bone tired (and even before.) Ask Him to strengthen you and to guide you in saying "no" to some things.

You shall be like a watered garden, and like a spring of water, whose waters do not fail.

If you look to God first, trust and obey Him for His unique guidance in your life, you will regularly be replenished and have the strength you need to do what He wants. Notice the reference to water three times in one phrase. Water is essential to life. Jesus is the living water. Is it any wonder that many of us are drawn to water sources, such as rivers and the ocean? Take some time today to enjoy some water and ask God to refresh and replenish your energy so that you can not fail in what HE (not what everyone else) wants you to do.