Sometimes You Need a Coach: Part 3 (Beth Beutler)

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Takeaway Three: The Importance of Social Relationships

I'm not a person, sadly, that has a lot of hobbies that I get lost in. I'm more of a dabbler. One of the things I do enjoy doing is participating in fun things like 5Ks, or going to a baseball or hockey game, or going to a play (movies, not so much.) I like trying new restaurants, or taking drives, or biking on bike trails. And a lot of the time, I enjoy doing this with friends. I like to organize fun times for friends and am often the person who coordinates get-togethers, potential trips, etc.

So in my coaching session, Stephanie helped me identify that this "social planning" needs to be an intentional part of my life. I agreed to talk with my husband about an idea and he agreed that a social event once a month would be enjoyable. That may not always happen, but now that I've identified it as something important, I can lean into enjoying the process. Now, that doesn't mean that my satisfaction of the event depends on everyone else being able to make it. No, with this commitment comes a "hands off, treat them like adults" approach that gives them freedom to say "no" and me to truly enjoy whoever God decides should be part of that particular social time!

So now, when I have an idea about a fun outing, I will contact a few friends by email giving them the date and details. If it involves getting tickets (like for a baseball game) I usually let them know when we are going and where we are sitting, or if I'm willing to get all the tickets at once, give them a deadline by which I need their response. Depending on the situation, I try to keep my involvement in the logistics to a reasonable level so as not to get stressed over planning something fun!

The other decision I am committing to is to not let my emotions and enjoyment of the outing depend on who is there with me. Certainly, I'll enjoy the company of the friends who can come. But if it ends up just being my husband and myself, then I'll enjoy a nice date. Keeping expectations realistic goes a long way to avoiding resentment or frustration.

So that is the third of the major takeaways from one coaching session. Just having focused time with an objective person helped me sort through some of my priorities. We talked about other things in the middle of this, such as desire to work out, etc. and I'm probably not even remembering everything we dealt with. But I found it so valuable to carve out time to truly consider the current elements of my life and how God wants them all to fit together, and what modifications may be needed.

I have a key word of "Margin" this year, and this was a concrete step toward developing that healthy margin.

Thanks, Stephanie!

I encourage you, readers, to explore the idea of coaching. Check out Stephanie's site at www.lifeinabundance.com. She coaches people all around the country--you don't have to be able to meet her in person.

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